THANK YOU CAFE DEL MAR CALM RADIO AND SUNSET CAM! ALL MY HOMIES LOVE CAFE DEL MAR CALM RADIO AND SUNSET CAM!!

Ugh! SO not sorry for not updating gigs/ticket links. Feeling so at odds with deejaying these days – craving more personal time in such a huge way. More later.

I’ve realized how much I love electronic music in a new way. Not just EDM, not just hypnotic Goan trance, not just progressive house – but IDM, ambient, acid and … so much more that I really don’t have the knowledge or experience to explain/define. I want to get better at that. I love electronic music not just because it helps me focus (It is so difficult for me to work and focus when there are lyrics in the background!), but because of how much emotion, rise, and fall it can convey with mere boops and beeps, you know? I got the below list off Instagram lol, but to me it is a good start. I’ve heard of Aphex Twin, Orbital, Caribou, Burial – and the first post on this blog is an ode to an Orb song! I want to come back to this with reflections. Let it be known that I usually listen to music while multitasking, so it won’t be too in-depth. BUT! I need something to help me keep track of new albums I’ve listened to. Maybe that’s it! A dedication page/tag/category for new music reflections. I’m going to start reporting and sharing new albums and books I’ve attempted to dive into for the month! Starting August hehe.

I miss listening to music for pleasure, rather than prepping for a gig. I’m tired of club ready! (for now)

1. Aphex Twin – Selected Ambient Works ’85-’92
2. Orbital – The Brown Album
3. The Orb – Adventures Beyond the Underworld
4. Leftfield – Leftism
5. Bural – Bural
6. Four Tet – There is Love In You
7. The Knife – Silent Shout
8. Caribou – Suddenly
9. Forest – Swords Bolted
10. Aïsha Devi – Death Is Home

I love it when a day turns around. It gives me so much hope! On Saturday, my day started slow, begrudgingly even. The only thing getting me out of bed was the promise of a fat bag waiting for me. That, and being able to see my friends throughout the day. The day wound down in my garden with a few friends – it was so lovely, I truly hated to be pulled away to play a 2 am gig. I wished we could have stayed and lit the citronella candles and chatted and drank all night.

Sunday is when it really got juicy. I woke up a bit hungover – the kind where you’re not really in any immediate pain, but you have a 24-hour thirst that simply cannot be quenched. I must have drunk so much water, so much coconut water. Also, the nastiest thing about me is that my personal cure for a hangover is a tall ice-cold glass of milk. I’m proud to be an American – where my milk comes in GALLONS in the COLD PART of the grocery store. It’s filled with the hormones, GUMS, and SOLUTIONS my body needs to distract itself from my own self-imposed dehydration.

I sat in the dark watching an obscure PBS documentary (the Donner Party, if anyone is interested in *spoiler alert* cannibalism), until it was time to open the blinds and receive the day. A few more friends came over to do some light crafting for an upcoming angel:fluid project, while Hubiba made Italian sandwiches from homemade rosemary focaccia and fresh basil pesto from our garden. It nourished me in a way I didn’t think possible. We sat outside under my pergola in the rain, chatting, snacking, and crafting. We discussed DJing, taking breaks, events, buying new clothes, personal style, etc., and the pursuit of more personal projects. For me, that includes reading, camping, biking, and hiking. I crave spending my weekends exploring. I have good memories of when I was young, my mom and I would get in a car one sunday morning and drive out in any direction for as long as we could, just to see what we could find. Somehow, we managed to find some yummy breakfast along the way. I crave more of that. Sunday ended cozied up as FRICK watching The Lion King.

Monday morning rolled around, and I decided to work from home. This, to me, is like an extended weekend. I spend the morning doing some actual work, picking at Sunday’s leftovers – bits of Serrano ham, Manchego cheese, Burrata, pesto on cold bread. By noon, the sun and day felt too wonderful to waste inside. I put my big girl pants on (which are actually just my girlfriend’s boxer shorts) and spent the rest of the afternoon in my garden, weeding, cleaning, tugging, and neating. It was wonderful. I shut out the world and listened to some Brazilian jazz and Spanish bugalu in my headphones. Every movement was methodical – slow and intentional, to feel the sun on every part of my skin. I mowed the lawn, hand-clipped the parts of the lawn I couldn’t get near the vegetable planters, weeded between the tiles on my porch, and cleaned out the area under my pergola. One of the most satisfying feelings in the world to me is pulling a weed out by its root. This could explain why my garden is so healing to me. After all the work, which feels SO good, you can enjoy it once more with its magic renewed.

For dinner, I made a big dumped salad. I love a bowl of slop – arugula, spinach, smoked salmon in its own oil, cottage cheese, half an avocado, cherry tomatoes, a big handful of pickled onions, some crispy brussels sprouts, pumpkin seeds, and a few generous glugs of balsamic vinegar. yummmmmmmmm. I could drink balsamic vinegar. I could and do, cause I love the salad juice at the end of the meal, ykwim? Hubiba and I decided to end the night at the movies in the suburbs – We drove out about 30 minutes to Countryside with two hours to spare before our movie in Lombard. We drove around, tried a rainbow cone for the first time, looked at all the suburban houses, admired the sunset, and Hubiba showed me her childhood home 🙂 We watched Leviticus, and honestly, I gave it 2.5 stars.

This is all to say that 1) I love the practice of romanticising the mundane. It is important to paint your life in an artistic way! I believe writing about it, even when it doesn’t feel important, is good practice for just that. And 2) documenting all the small good parts that make life feel calmer. to remember all the peaceful parts! So that when I feel at odds with life, when I feel I’m too far gone in something and forgetting my basics, I know I can return to them as simply as I did that one day before. that one day I wrote about.

Following the summer, I’m going to take an indefinite hiatus from DJing and event production, aside from Angel:fluid. This feels honest to me. I don’t have all the words to explain why just yet, but I will. I have some really fun gigs all summer, including one even planned for November! Following that, however, I will opt to post mostly on my blog. More details to come 🙂

Hope you had a lovely weekend! Hope you’re finding time for yourself in the midst of an extremely busy season (especially gay people!!) I urge you to set aside time today or tomorrow to document a moment or day you enjoyed recently <3